The easiest way to put it is that by 2019, I’d been repressing emotions, people-pleasing, and ‘faking my way’ to the point of experiencing regular panic attacks and chronic anxiety. A tight chest, stiff shoulders, and a feeling of overwhelm were such a chronic presence in my life, I had accepted “this is just what adult life is like” and decided I would cope with it. I was a workaholic, perfectionist,, media binger, out-all-the-timer, and status chaser. I was also exhausted.

When I moved back to my small, rural hometown from busy Toronto in 2020, I felt a stark emptiness internally. I felt lonely and confused, finding myself asking hard-to-answer questions like “Who am I?”, “What’s actually important to me?”, and “What am I doing?”. I felt so lost and trapped.

This uncomfortable feeling pushed me. I could no longer accept feeling the way I’d been feeling for so long. I knew something had to change.

Some people experience a pivotal “rock bottom” moment that drives them to change (divorce, a breakdown, losing a loved one, etc.). For me, it was more like an accumulation of small moments and intense feelings that collected over time. Getting away from the city and the rat race gave me some fresh perspective that the things I’d been chasing to feel good were actually the cause of my suffering.

Even with these realizations, I was very resistant to therapy, coaching, journalling, meditation - all of it. I knew a lot about these things and encouraged others to explore them all the time - but really didn’t practice what I preached. For years I’d felt like a fraud in this way. But, in 2020, something in me shifted to finally open my mind, and have the courage, to reach out for help.

I started writing, practicing breathwork, and going to therapy, while at the same time sharing with my family and friends how I was really doing (instead of wearing the mask of the perfectionist, who was always okay).

This was not easy. I’ve confronted parts of me that have been hard to look at: the girl who avoids conflict, the girl who cares so much about what others think of her, the girl who is the ultimate people pleaser, the girl who judges others, the girl who was afraid of living her truth out of fear of others judging her, the girl who lives with toxic positivity, and so on. I’ve explored where these parts of me came from, my underlying belief systems, how my defensiveness shows up, and so much more. I’ll also continue getting to know myself for the rest of my life, as growth is a forever thing.

I still meditate. I still journal, exercise daily, and eat a nutritionally dense diet. I also continue to go to therapy as I believe it’s important we all have someone to lean on as we continue to grow. I’m forever grateful for the people in my corner.

From September 2020 through December 2021, I underwent a 16-month somatic breathwork coaching practice where I learned to understand and rewire my beliefs. This work was transformative, deeply educational, and challenging, but in doing so I gained the tools to manage my own anxiety and developed new outlooks on humanity and how I could help others.

I am invested in continuing to learn new ways to manage the nervous system through movement, mindfulness practices, and training in: psychological programming, human consciousness, and therapeutic techniques.

With my clients, I lean into the techniques found in traditional life coaching (creating and overseeing strategies that help people achieve goals), personal development coaching (using psychological and behavioral insights to make recommendations for individual growth), the internal family systems therapy model (a therapeutic framework to help us understand who we are), and attachment theory.

I’ve also attended several seminars on transformational leadership throughout my career from companies such as Google and Meta, and institutions such as The University of Toronto and the University of Western Ontario.